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Friendships 

When you were younger, it was easier to make friends. You were forced to be with people in the same place with a common purpose. But, when you become older that becomes more difficult even in similar circumstances. We have a stronger sense of our selves where we know that it’s not gonna work out. You are not forced to be with this person so you can choose to use your time for other things. It becomes easier to dismiss relationships because we can. You know that if this person is not with you, you will be okay.

What brought this about? Three instances. The first is with friends falling out. There are just friendships that as you grow older, you realize it’s not working out. You two are just too different. You don’t know this person anymore and sometimes you realize that you’re just keeping the relationship for the sake of history. If you just know this person today, you know that he won’t be your friend.

Second is with building friendships. I have this mindset that if the two of us share some interests or values, we can be BFFs. It does not work that way because it takes two to tango to make a friendship. The gravity of the relationship also depend on that. In my situation, I think I am interested in this person too much than I should be. And, clearly, he’s not. So I feel like I’m always chasing and putting all the effort in building something. I hate that feeling.

The last point is with regards to the price of admission. I learned this idea first from Dan Savage. He explained that in a relationship, there are things you choose to accept for the sake of maintaining that relationship. No one is perfect and there are some things that would annoy the hell out of you, and you accept that he’s that way. Believe me, I think of that all the time. Also, I expect them to think that way about me. I am not perfect. I have ideas and habits that can be annoying as shit. But, the adult thing is that you sleep on it and you take a deep breath. The friendship is so much bigger than your pet peeve.

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It’s early but nothing to do but update…

Another Chicago trip in the books for me. This is the most low key though for me since I just went here to wish Joel a safe trip and say goodbye to his old apartment. Yes, he’s moving out already so when I head back to Chicago to visit Joel, it will be to a different location. In this trip, my car got towed again! Grrrr. It’s annoying because I already followed the instructions when I was towed a few months back and here I am. Doing it all over again. I just hope I get a full refund this time around because it’s ridiculous. 

I forgot to post about my Cincinnati NAGVA experience last weekend. It was fun even if we didn’t really do well. Personally, I just wanted to check how my knee will hold up during a tournament and the good news is that I survived with flying colors. I also god awarded the Defense Diva for the B pool play. Hashtag validation. That means that I am back in the tournament circuit but the year that I’m off really taught me that I should better manage my priorities and even if I love volleyball, I like to travel for leisure. I am still on the fence for Chicago NAGVA because it falls on the 4th of July weekend. Do I really wanna play volleyball during that potential 4 day weekend or should I go to a beach somewhere. Decisions, decisions, decisions….

Other than that, nothing major really has been happening. I’m still in my intermittent fasting thing and I am around 144lbs. I need to fix my lean muscle mass so I might start bulking more and lowering carbs further. I’ve been off the “apps” and it feels rather mixed. A part of me feels liberated that I can just reallocate my time to other productive means but a part of me is also anxious that it’s really not helping me out in meeting people. It’s a trade off at the moment and it’s pretty healthy that I am focuisng more on me and my ginormous to do list. 

Also, here are some things I still wanna do or achieve:

  • Buy pillows, nightstand and table for my guest room.  It sounds simple but it’s a struggle for me
  • Buy office cabinet for other room. 
  • Figure out 4th of July weekend
  • Travel plans with Irene to NYC
  • Get in Columbus championships for NAGVA
  • increase Lean muscle mass and decrease body fat to 15%
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2 months in!

I can’t believe that it’s already been 2 months since I have started Intermittent Fasting! I am still happy with the results. I am at 144.6 lbs this weekend and that makes me total weight loss of 10 lbs! It’s started me thinking if I should start doing a clean bulk now. i did another roll of shame today. I’ve been stuck at 145# in my bench press and maybe I am not eating enough now. I just need to build more strength and maybe add more accessory exercises. Let’s see.

And before I forget, I need to learn the following this spring/summer: how to take care of my lawn, and how to grill.

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Ugh.

I played horrible last night. I was slow and my reflex is really off. I wonder if this is the new normal for me, or something I can train on with drills and exercises? My knee is still not there 100% so that is still problematic to be honest. Maybe one goal at a time.

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Some updates.

Fitness update – Yesterday, I weighed myself and I am at 145.6! I think I overdid it with dimsum and Cavu Caramel latte so I am at 146.6 this morning. I also suspect that my weekend weighing time throws it off. During weekdays, I weigh myself at 7am, but on weekends I do it much later than that. Anyway, this is still good news in my books and I can’t wait to do a body fat check in a few weeks to see if my body fat has gone down to <15%. A part of me is a bit hesitant that I’ll go down to really skinny level with not much muscle mass so I might start doing a slow clean bulk and fix my lifts.

Other things –

. Taxes – this is almost done. I almost filed mine last night but I realized that TaxAct was charging me $28 to file because I’m using the Premium version. Since I do not have any investments anymore, I should just be at the Plus version where I can file at $7.50. So, I am transferring my filing from Premium to Plus but I have to re-do it again. This happened after trying HR Block’s free version but since I have an HSA, I need to get bumped up to their Deluxe version. I don’t get why?! It’s a pretty straight forward and does not have any tax impact since all my withdrawals are medical related. Annoying. So, I’ll have to do that today.

. Volleyball – I have been playing again and my right knee is still sore. It’s not that bad with a compression sleeve but I am not stopping my PT exercises.

. Decision Making is terrible – I hate making decisions that I need to stick to. I want the flexibility to adjust or pivot if needed. But alas, buying a house requires a lot of commitment and hard decisions. My latest decision needed to be done is the bed. I already have a mattress for it but I just need a frame. Either I upgrade my bed and transfer my current one to the guest room, or I just get a cheapo one for the guest room. Decisions, decisions, decisions…

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Greek Yogurt

A few years back, I hated yogurt. It’s one of those products that you’ll never see me eat. It’s not that I’m allergic to it, but I was never a fan of tart or sour food, especially in creamy form. It tasted and smelled weird for me. I remember one time when I went out for an “eyeball” (how early 2000s!) in Manila, we went to a yogurt place. I swallowed my pride and went for it. I still did not like and that meet up was never repeated.

Fast forward to now and it’s considered a staple in my diet. I get eat Greek yogurt almost every day. It has very good protein content (20 grams in a serving), and it’s ridiculously good. My favorite right now is Trader Joe’s whole milk vanilla bean Greek yogurt. I can literally devour an entire tub of that goodness! Super good. I also eat the 0% plain ones and to make it more satisfying, I add a serving of fruit (strawberry, banana, pineapple and the like).

It’s so strange how my palate has changed. I can attribute that to motivation. If you want something, you’ll eventually bring down your walls and take risks. That’s what I have done. It all started during my Paleo journey a few years back where I explored healthier options. I took out sugar, and complex carbs and just relied on simple and fresh food items. Then now with the Lean Gains + IIFYM (if it fits your macros) approach, I try to explore high protein options! The good news is that it’s working. Weight is down to 147 (from 154) and my body fat is at 17.3% (from 23%)! It does not end and there’s room for further growth. I know I will need to push further. I need to find more options and see to what levels can I reach. It’s something I am excited about and probably one of the few things going on in my life.

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Sore

My body is so sore this morning. I am still not used to losing an hour of sleep due to daylight savings, and I subbed as libero in JV’s team last night. Oh man… I’m paying for it now.

I’ll post something more meaningful next time since my meeting will start soon. Nothing major, but something blog-worthy.