#15 Yep, I’m bloggin

I have been posting some shit stuff here and it is time to make a blog dump so I can just get that out.

  • I am in Malaysia again. Woohoo. /s. Humidity sucks and I need to be here for 3 weeks. The good thing is that I am contributing somehow with doing some automation work for this group. Din Tai Fung, Muji, Uniqlo, and Zara were my usual visits. I need to go out tomorrow and explore somewhere.
  • My Denver trip was awesome. I knew I would miss Memorial weekend so I just figured that I will take a long weekend off and go to Denver. It’s not stricken out of my to-do list! I. Love. Denver. The town is pretty laidback with a lot of things going on. I would say it’s in between Cincinnati and Chicago. It’s very white though so that gave me some apprehensions. BUT, it is a fun city and somewhere I added as a potential landing spot. There was Shake Shack! *fan girl*
  • I bought a new car. Shit. Once again, I am feeling a bit of a buyer’s remorse here but I love the car and I do not regret it fully. I traded my Golf (undervalued but I just let it happen. Shit me!) for a 2017 BMW 328d xDrive car. Yep. I ate all my words that I will not go for luxury cars because it is just a means to transport me from one point to another. I just did it and said fuck it. I deserve to be able to buy these kinds of stuff. Does it make sense? Nope! But, here I am.
  • I realized that I will be 3 years working in this company on June 1. Time flies and I really think that it’s time to get out of the comforts of my team and see what is out there. I am not talking about outside of my current company, but internally as well. I had some conversations as well and I think it’s quite positive. Timing is key and finding a role will be the tough part. I am not closing my doors though for opportunities outside. With the right landing spot and offer, why not?!
  • I know I always internalize how shitty it is that I am single and alone, but it also sometimes relieves me to know that I do not get the drama with relationships. Hearing about it from friends sometimes make me cringe and wish I remain single. It’s not my story to write here, but let’s just say reality can suck big time.
  • I am heavily considering transforming my carpeted area to some luxury vinyl material. I got a quote and it was like 5K! Um, REALLY? Stingy me says hell no! I will need to PM the shit out of this. Wish me luck there.r

#11 Infinity War

I watched Avengers Infinity War last night and I am still excited with the movie. It was such an epic movie. A big part of it is coming from nostalgia. You see, The Infinity Gauntlet series is my favorite Marvel arc. Dark Phoenix Saga comes second so X-Men NEEDS to deliver. Anyway, I digress. I was just amazed how it was familiar yet different from what I know. Before watching the movie, I was already trying to imagine how they’ll depict the greatness of the Infinity Gauntlet and how they will weave it with the MCU.

I. Am. Not. Disappointed.

And that post-credit scene!!!!

I. Need. Avengers. 4.

My other thoughts talking about the plot is in an image so I do not leak it. Click at your own risk: spoiler

#10 just a series of updates…

I have not blogged much since I fractured my hand. It has been that long already because I have already removed my splint last week. Yep, more than a month where I have neglected this. So, I do not have any good way of updating everything that has happened and thoughts other than just writing down whatever I remember. It’s basic but who’s judging.

  • Just after learning my fracture, I had to fly to Malaysia for a business trip. Living with one functioning hand is very tough. Props to the folks with disabilities!
  • Malaysia was pretty much like how I remembered it to be. It was a typical Southeast Asian country. It is practically like the Philippines.
  • I will have to go back there some time in June-July for another test phase. I am not that excited because I have to choose between Chicago or Sam Smith. Due to some holidays, the earliest I can fly is June 18 if I want to travel back before July 6. If I leave by that date, I will miss the Sam Smith concert on the 23rd. If I leave after the 23rd, it would mean that the trip will be too short if I still leave on the 4th or 5th. The third choice is to just leave on the 24th and return on the 5th. And the final option is not to fly at all during the entire test phase.
  • I made a 36-hour pit stop to the Philippines to visit my parents and met up with some friends. It was too short and so stressful. I hate these short trips.
  • Because of the project timelines, that means that all my travel plans are all up in the air. The only thing certain at the moment is Denver in Memorial Weekend. I need to make that happen. London might happen in August if everything works out.
  • I got an Apple Pencil for my IPad Pro. Using it is so much fun. I wish i am a student once again and i can write my notes and stuff in an iPad. Doing it at work just seems like counterproductive. It’s another device to sync up, versus in school, when i can just use it as my main device.
  • Since i broke my hand, I could not lift properly in the gym. No upper body workouts practically. So all the gains from last year are pretty much gone. I have a few months to fix my shit and be ready for Chicago just in case. Btw, if i chose not to go for Chicago, I will probably hit Phuket. I need a beach.
  • I feel more comfortable with myself. I still feel a bit inadequate, but I think i am getting better in accepting who i am — including my limits and negatives. It is not a walk in the park, but I am trying to be less tense and just be more open.
  • I have also limited myself in dating apps. I just realized how it is sucking so much of my life. I still have a lot of shit to get done and i just dilly-dally swiping or waiting for a hit. Nope. I have to move forward and just see what follows.

Seriously, i need to blog more or do more sketch notes.

Crossing my fingers.

#9 fracture

I was supposed to blog about my “hand sprain” yesterday but I learned that it’s more serious than I thought. My 4th metacarpal got fractured in volleyball last Monday.

How did it happen? We were doing some hitting warm ups and one of the guys I play with hit the ball going to my head. I tried to deflect it with an overhead pass but my right hand was in an awkward angle. Initially, I thought that it’s just a jammed finger which is pretty normal in volleyball so I still stayed and played. Unfortunately, swelling started to form. I knew by then that it’s not just as jam but most likely a sprain.

I did my RICE first aid and went on my day yesterday but my hand was not improving. I wrote to my PCP to check if I should see him then have an X-ray or if he gives me an X-ray referral and depending on the results, set up an appointment. In my mind, I know something was not right. And having past injuries from volleyball, I am more cautious and try to get a proper prognosis.

My doctor gave me the referral and had my X-ray done immediately. I wanted the peace of mind. I was still joking around with the X-ray person about typing and going on with my day. When she told me they maybe I should stop doing those and showed me my X-ray. It was a clear break. Yikes.

My doctor called me and advised to go to an urgent Care. I was given a splint and another doctor’s appointment tomorrow. What a week?! I already thought that having to have my roof replaced was bad enough but this tops that.

The only silver lining is that I’m left handed and my injury is on my right hand so I am not an invalid. I can still go on with my day but just slower. More updates when I get them.


Work has been pretty frustrating to me lately, and I am trying to really get over it so I can just move on. I have the tendency to care too much so if something does not go my way, I get really emotional. I feel like the effort and thought I put into it is just gone. And, if the alternative is just plain wrong (in my opinion), I just feel defeated and disengaged.

I am thinking now — how to not give a fuck?! How can I just do what I am supposed to do, and really do it well. Why do I try to care for things that are not under my control or job? I really need to step back and have a good look about things that I should give my time and devotion. I need to learn when to speak my mind and when I should just shut up. If it fails, it fails. If it prospers, good job to whoever thought of it.

Still thinking how I can nip it from the start. Thoughts?

#7 time to be more focused

I have lost some focus lately. I am way behind on my chores and my ever growing to-do list. Work is slowing things down as well, but I know that I need to be focused again and not lose the drive to reach my goals this year. I have not been tracking my diet so I also need to be diligent on that as well. At least, one accomplishment I had this week was setting up Trello for work and personal life and automated some of the recurring activities I do. IFTTT is amazing.

On another note, I really suffer from analysis paralysis. I just cannot decide on things easily. Yesterday, I spent an hour checking hair dryers in Target because I can not decide which one I should get. I really need to work on that. Mental note: Read about LPT on analysis paralysis.