The weekend is finally over in a few hours but the good thing is that this will be a short week! It is Thanksgiving on Thursday and Friday is a holiday as well. So it is going to be a long weekend for me which is pretty good. I need the break. I have not really felt more energized since my last post, so I am still a bit off with how things are going. I had my annual physical last Monday with a new doctor that I actually like! I think he’s mixed Asian and he’s pretty nice during my nice. He gave me a bunch of blood test to rule out things. Most of my results are unremarkable. So that means I am healthy based on my blood work. I am just awaiting for my Testosterone test to see if that’s the culprit to this lethargy. Dr. Kaya’s hunch is that I am just going through Seasonal Affective Disorder. He advised me to go out in the sun or buy one of those “happy lamps” for light therapy. I’ll probably seek that out when I visit Costco one of these days.
I also ordered a new laptop for myself as my Christmas gift to myself. It’s an HP Spectre x360! I finally got a touch screen and 2-in-1 laptop! I’m pretty psyched playing with it when it arrives this coming week. Since it is also Black Friday this coming week, I’m still unsure if there’s something I’d want to buy. I still need to build my balikbayan box to the Philippines soon so I might want to get some stuff in there. I don’t know yet really.
Last friday, I watched the last movie in the Hunger Games franchise — Mockingjay Pt. 2. I thought the movie was a bit dragging and I still think that the whole Mockingjay book can be squeezed into just 1 movie! Jennifer Lawrence was still awesome! Then, yesterday, I bought the new album of the sublime Adele. Her latest offering, 25, is good, but I prefer 21. My favorite track in the album is Remedy and there are still other good songs in the album.
I’m planning to go for a disconnect weekend after Thanksgiving. That means, a solo trip just to re-frame things and think the future through. I’ll probably go to some city and book a hotel Friday afternoon. Let’s see how things will go and where I’ll end up in. But, I need this retreat to think where I am, where I was and where I want to be.
An unexamined life is not worth living. — Socrates
It’s Friday the 13th today and it’s just a coincidence that I am forcing myself to sit down and write a blog properly and post it. In my defense, I had something written up a few days ago but I just failed to post it (and I lost that post too). So, that kinda sucks, but let’s try to do this again today. It’s been almost a month now since my last post so I’ll try to run through what happened since then, but true to my life, nothing exciting really.
- I was *finally* able to watch this overhyped movie in Columbus along with Roman, Cams, and Tina. The movie just really underwhelmed me. The idea of the movie was good and it means well especially with trying to inspire nationalism. Being a history buff, I already have a good idea about Luna. He was an angry man and to some extent hated, but still an important pillar of the Philippine Revolution as one of the key military men of Aguinaldo. The story where Luna wades in is just convoluted and there were just horrible lines and performances from other actors. John Arcilla couldn’t just carry the movie but he was definitely a force and a good representation of Luna. Still, it was all hype for me. It’s a good watch but not something I’m gonna sing praises about.
- I finally finished my move out of Cooper Road last October. It felt really sad to move on and leave that old place which I called home for 4 years. It was not the best place, but it was good enough for me then. It’s another part of growing up and learning to let things go easier in life to be able to try different things and explore things outside of my comfort zone. Living in Eagle Ridge is a good set of “training wheels” before actually jumping the gun and own a house. I think things are really leading up to becoming a house owner and maintaining it. I will probably start looking for a house by spring of 2017 before the Boloquis return to the US. It’s better to have more time than none. I think that’s something to look forward to right?
- The heavy cloud of ennui continues to envelop me. Lately, my energy has been kinda low and I have grown to be more detached to things that I usually enjoy. That even includes volleyball. I do not want this to be the new normal, so I am trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. I dunno if I’m clinically depressed, but the grave feeling has not really overwhelmed my life so maybe that’s not it. I have good spikes, but it’s mostly lack of energy/focus most of the time. I’m going to see if it’s a hormonal issue by having that tested next week during my Annual Physical. Let’s see where this goes.
- I also need a good disconnect / vacation. Just some alone time away from the city and from the world. It’s a good time too because it’s close to the end of the year when I seriously think more about next year. I tried to start looking at my goal sheet and plot down what I want to achieve next year, but maybe I should really starting facing the bigger issue face on “where do I see my self in the future?”
Yesterday was not super fun. I got a bad reaction with the fish that I ate. I think this is totally my fault because I defrosted one of the fishes a few days back and thought it was still OK. I ate it for lunch and I suddenly got red in the face, and got hives. I drove home to get some meds and sleep it off. When I woke up after a few hours, I was back to normal. Learned my lesson though.
Okay, I thought that I’ll be better in this blogging thing, but I’ve been moving for the past few days here in Eagle Ridge. there are still many things to do and I’m just not being organized and focused in attacking this. I really need to correct this and feel more composed in doing things. I don’t know, but I’ve been feeling a bit out of my game lately and I need to quickly fix this ASAP. Maybe it’s because there are just so many things going on right now that I need to just drop something off or let things finish.
Notable things both good and bad:
- Monday night volleyball was just terrible. We were swatted by an older team due to poor execution. I share the blame here and I commit to really get back in working out more religiously and build the muscle strength and memory of being a better player. #practice #practice #practice
- I watched Papertowns a few days ago and it was a bit meh. Good thing I did not really exert that much of an effort reading the book. It just felt weird for me.
- I thought Hillary owned the debate last night. Her cheeks though – omg.
- I forgot to mention The Martian in my previous post! I watched this a week back and I’d say that it’s such an amazing movie. I think it’s the best movie of the year so far.
- I’m curious about Tomorrowland and Magic Mike XXL. Things to watch in the next few days when I have some down time from work, and moving.
- I brought my car to VW earlier because of the Check Coolant light. They just topped up the coolant for free. I hope this is the really the issue and nothing more. Crossing my fingers.
- M invited me to go to Wisconsin with him, but I turned him down. There’s work to think about, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that step. Yes, I’m overthinking this.
- I need to finish my move to Eagle Ridge! Seriously, I need to get my act together.
- Work is just one tsunami I need to conquer.
- I need to conquer my thoughts too.
- I might go to Chicago for Halloween. Let’s see if my life is fixed by that time.
I was mostly frazzled today. Perhaps it’s the emotional weight of bidding goodbye to Irene and family yesterday, or the not so smooth sleep last night. I just felt really tired and it made me a bit of a Debbie Downer. I need to get out of this funk. I was even supposed to watch a movie in Columbus today, but I scrapped the idea and just stayed in and caught up on some shows (there are still more shows to catch!). I even skipped gym! Tomorrow is going to be long (starts at 7am!) and I’m dreading it already.
On the positive side, I finished my first Color Run night last Saturday. It was wet, but really fun! I think I can do this running thing more often. It kinda works me legs and core and I like it. 5K seems easy enough to accomplish and I’d probably stick to this.
I’m also gonna be starting my move to Eagle Ridge. I plan to do it slowly as I ease myself in West Chester. I’m not 100% thrilled about the move, but it’s a good decision as a temporary run in the mill of being in a full house. I’ll probably move small items regularly until I end up with the big items where I would need a truck and movers. I am not excited about that, but the idea of moving is something that’s keeping me busy and focused. It’s a good thing.
It’s been meh so far. We lost in our game last Monday, but I think I played well. I did not commit a lot of errors but I know that I still need to train harder. Speaking of training, I was so winded earlier after the first mile. The Lafayette trip really threw me off and I’m now back from scratch. I feel energized after the run though so I might continue to do this while it’s still bearable. I don’t know how that will be when I move to West Chester.
I saw Brian last Monday but I was still not ready to be friendly with him. I feel calmer now, but I don’t know if I can just easily move past it. Tomorrow is another test since it’s Thursday volleyball at LA Fitness.
Tomorrow, it’s already October and I know that the rest of the year will just fly by very quickly. I still feel tired and sometimes a bit lost at work / life, but it’s getting better. I think I just need more focus and something to strive for.
Finally, it is Friday and I’m so psyched to head back home to Cincinnati and just relax. I’m still feeling off due to being tired in general (don’t ask me why) and a fallout last night with a friend. Since I do not know how to even answer why I feel tired/demotivated these days, I’ll just elaborate on the fallout.
It all started about finding a sub for our team because one of our teammates was injured. Originally, we were gunning for a guy who we all agreed to as a team, but he’s not available and he suggested another guy. So my friend already agreed with that guy. I just told him that maybe he’d want to tell the team first that we’ll be getting this other guy because we don’t know how the others feel or we can get a better option. I don’t have any issue with this person by the way, and we are not pressed for time. My friend took it the wrong way because he disagrees to my point of being consultative with the team. He snapped that I do not appreciate him finding a person, and he will not do it anymore. I thought it was a case of “we agree to disagree.” But no. He messaged the entire team telling the team that I told him that I should have asked them first about it and asked if they have a problem with that.
For me, he made it appear that I have a problem with it. And I do not at all. I gave him constructive feedback that not everyone appreciates that and he might get dinged by it. That was just it. In our case, no one has a problem with it, but it’s not going to be the case all the time. It was a private matter between two friends who should be able to converse openly, and he made it a public issue which is not. I am still trying to calm myself about it and thinking, “do I want to associate myself with someone who would do that to make a point?”I know better now.
That opened my eyes and it’s definitely a teachable moment. Sometimes, I wonder why I still care.