Another bunch of realizations

There are things that happened in the past week that made me think more about life, people around me and the future. I think about life in general, but I just thought it’s worth sharing and putting it down in my blog for future reference.

I realized that you cannot have the perfect person in your life. This is not just romantic relationships, but in general. I should learn more that we accept people in our lives will not always make you feel grateful that they are around. It’s possible that there are days where you think “how can I have this person in my life?”. But, it’s good when you think about it in general. At the same way, I cannot say that I’ve been perfect for other people. There are moments that they probably want to kill me, but I hope they also appreciate that I have been a very avid supporter in every choice they make — even if I do not believe or accept them. Because choices and moments are just that — it’s a part. These things do not define the person and you have to look at it one level higher — do I want to be with this person in my life?

Secondly, I realized how many options I have in my life and yet I limit myself to a subset of it. I like the limit or focus because it gives me some parameters in what I want to do in my life. There are people who just do things because they can do it, or just to say it’s done. Kudos to them! I want to do things that matter to me. I want to be able to answer the question — why am I doing this? What is the point of doing this in my life? It’s not calculated, but I just want to put some meaning in what I do and establish an anchor or drive to keep on moving on. With the latest developments in my life in terms of career opportunities, it’s giving me the necessary focus on thinking ahead. I did not really think much on what I want to do in the next 5 years, but today, it was clear to me. I want to be part of something bigger than who I am. I do not want to be in the sidelines and help out in enacting change. I want to be driving this and pushing it forward. I never thought that I’m that ambitious and driven but going through the interview made me reassess where I stand now, and where I want to stand in the short and long term. I’m happy.

Ankle update — my ankle is still tender during the morning and quick lateral movements still has some pain. I am walking normal and I can jump. I bought some resistance bands earlier to start strengthening my ankles and also my knees. I think my target of May is more realistic, but I want to still be optimistically cautious about this. I don’t want a repeat of my injury, and I want to be smart and stronger than before.

4/12

I’d just like to say the weather this weekend is just amazing. It was very sunny and so much different from the dreary weather of the past week. Cincinnati got hit by a bunch of storms. I can’t wait to experience more of this sunny weather and explore more of my surroundings. This year, I want to do some more activities outside the house! Let’s see what goes to reality from my bag of ideas.

Work update — My work has stressed me out last week. I was finally back at the office, and it was just a pile of poo. It was a mess! It is annoying but manageable in my opinion. I just don’t feel good cleaning the mess of other people, even if it is my job. On the opportunity front, I had some conversations here and I’m crossing my fingers that something comes into fruition.

Ankle update — This is not fully well yet. As you can see in the photo of my ankle, my right ankle is still a bit swollen. Since the day I have sprained my ankle, I was just able to walk properly yesterday. It’s definitely a milestone for me because I was getting a bit concerned. I was practically limping for 2 weeks and I thought I was going to be like this forever. I’m happy that I can see progress, but it’s still a journey for me. There’s still some stiffness and discomfort when I go down the stairs. I need to do some exercises to make it better. So, I am still projecting May for my return in the courts. I need to get an ankle brace as well! 

March rundown!

Finally, it is April! Let’s just say that March has not been my favorite month, and having April roll in quicker than expected is something I am very happy about. March has just been rough than normal. There were things that happened that just really threw me off and did not allow me to enjoy much of the time. At the top of my head, I can think of 3 things — my sprained ankle, my Mom’s health news, and work. I think I started April quite strongly and positively and I’d like to keep it that way. Here is a quick rundown of what has happened in March in a more tangible way…

Financially, it’s a big letdown. Due to my mom’s upcoming operation this month, I have to provide more than usual. It’s a big dent in my financial plan and I think I can recover some of them in a month or two. That means though I am back at square one, and I need to tighten the belt a bit. It’s good that I am working at the client office because I bring food usually and that is a big saving (and healthier as well!). I am pretty much Paleo most of the time now but let me comment on that later.

Health-wise, April will be a challenge. I sprained my ankle last Sat (Mar 28) and that took me out of my health regimen for a week already. I am expecting a few more weeks to allow my ankle to completely heal. I hope to go back to the gym for some workout in 1-2 weeks, and go back to play volleyball in 3-4 weeks. I am more conscious now with my body and will really listen to it more intently. Perks of aging I guess. L For the past week, my diet is pretty crap. I felt miserable with my situation and decided to eat things that I want even if it’s not healthy. I had baked Cheetos, Hawaiian sweet rolls with peanut butter, and okonomiyaki. Crap I tell you! Weirdly, I lost some weight and I think that’s muscle that flew out of the window.

At work, it has been busy. I was juggling some side projects and contract writing and making sure everything is on-track. It was not terrible in the way that I was super stressed. It was a good stress actually. It kept me at my toes and fueled me to push harder. Good motivation in my opinion. After my sprain, I worked from home the entire week and thought I was 80% productive to be honest. The good thing is that it was also Easter season so work was really not on its peak levels. Next week, I have my list of follow ups already and I want to push harder and see where it will bring me. I am still looking for opportunities out there. March has been a wash and it really shook my confidence a bit. I knew that I needed to adjust and see where this ship goes.

That was last month and so far April has been starting good. I decided to get a cable subscription and I think I got a decent deal out of it. It’s not cheap and I do have to make some financial adjustments, but I want to see how April comes and then will make some adjustments. I already thought of stopping my Netflix subscription as a cost saver, but maybe I do not need it. We will see. What this made me realize is how much I love TV!!! It’s so awesome to have DVR and just record shows that I want to watch and have some control over it. I can also watch previous episodes of some shows I missed — I am now on a Master Chef marathon! I have been loving HGTV and Food TV as well. I guess you know where 20% of my productivity went last week.

What I want to achieve in April is simple:

  • Get out of the red in terms of finances, and build that plan.
  • Rebuild strength (especially in my legs), and be more intelligent here.
  • Get some tangible updates in opportunity search
  • Push harder with work
  • Do a simple road trip to break the cycle

Still bruised but better than Saturday

 

It’s better.

My foot seems to be better today. It is not back to normal (far from it!), but it’s an improvement from Saturday’s swollen grapefruit look. I visited a doctor yesterday and he confirmed that I did not have a fracture. I was relieved with that news. I just tore one ligament (at the right side where it was swollen), and I should be able to walk better in the next few days. But, I have to give volleyball a rest for the next 2 weeks or so. I’ll listen to my body and see when I’m ready. Today, I was able to drive to Starbucks (Happy Hour!) albeit slowly and walked to Pipkin Market for some vegetables I needed for my Beef Kaldereta. I know that I’m not yet ready to drive normally because my right foot still feels a bit heavy. Short trips in slow roads are my limits so far. Let’s see how my foot feels tomorrow. I’m hoping to get out of my apartment by Thursday at the very least.

I finally succumbed and got a TV cable subscription. I’m such a late bloomer on this but I just thought that I need some more entertainment at home. I can DVR the TV shows I follow, and I can finally watch some sports! Some background — I wanted to watch some NCAA volleyball games, but they’re only available with an ESPN subscription. That sucked! Well, I will finally get one and I can watch more TV! Let’s see what will happen tomorrow and I’ll update this space.

I feel more positive today because I am seeing progress with my foot. There were some spots of frustration from work, but nothing I could handle with some time and coordination. I need to focus more on work and the things I need to do. I get distracted very easily and I need to strengthn my focus and resolve.

Not so good…

Today, I sprained/broke my ankle in volleyball. I think I was blocking someone and I landed in a bad angle. I had to excuse myself for the rest of the games. Well, I still need to visit the Priority Care clinic tomorrow morning so I am not sure if I broke it or just sprained it. I am hoping it’s just a sprain. Either way, my ankle is like a swollen tennis ball and it sucks big time! It’s my first time to get a sprain / fracture in my life so this is something that’s pretty new for me. I am indeed getting old and my “too active” lifestyle might be catching up on me. I am not sure if I need to train more, or use more tools to avoid these instances. That’s still something I need to figure out in the next few days.

I have been feeling really tired lately. I am not really into work, or doing some of the things I usually do. Volleyball is the only exception, but I think I have to skip that for the next couple of weeks. I need to pick myself up and motivate myself to succeed and move forward. I think a part of this is that I feel that my heart is not in my work anymore. I am just going through the motions, but I am not really passionate about it. I don’t know if it’s the situation with the company (WFRs, etc), or my situation (hoping for more opportunities) ,but I need to figure this out quickly before I get myself in deep shit.

It’s time to rest for now and see how my situation will be tomorrow.

  

Pi Day!

It is Pi day y’all! For the non-geeks, today is March 14 (3/14/15) and that corresponds to 3.1415. Ergo, Pi day.

This week has been very stressful for me. When the clock read 5:00pm yesterday, I was so ecstatic because it gives me some breathing room to take a break and just enjoy a few days off and not deal with work and all the busyness that goes with it.

This week started off with sick days. I had to take Monday and Tuesday off because of severe soreness in my throat. It was like swallowing shards of glass! I thought that it was just gonna pass after some rest but when I did not sleep well on Monday night, I knew I had to bring in the heavy guns. I called up my PCP but there seems to be no available slots that Tuesday. I opted to just go to the TriHealth Priority Care in Mason. I got two friends who recommended that provider already, and was very satisfied with the service. I was given Prednisone to alleviate the inflammation in my throat, and some antibiotics just in case. By Wednesday, I did not feel much pain but I had full blown colds which was another terrible thing. I worked from home that day, but decided to go to the office on Thursday and Friday to catch up on some face-to-face work needed to be done. I still had the sniffles, but you got to do what you have to do. Those two days have been packed with meetings and additional items to my ever-growing to-do list. On the bright side, I really felt productive and was able to focus in addressing most of my work. I was so tired after those days though.

Other than my miserable week due to sickness, the weather has been awesome!  We’ve been getting relatively warm weather (>40s). It feels so good not to layer up just to go out! I was able to walk earlier to the post office (to mail my tax returns) sporting a light jacket! I’m so excited for the weather to warm up some more!

In other news, one of the opportunities I was looking at fell through. It seemed like I did not have much experience in ground up projects which made me question my credentials a bit. I’m still looking out what’s available and see where it will end up. Let’s see!

Spring Forward day!

It is Spring Forward day meaning I lose an hour. It is still a lazy start and I need to do get to the following today:

  • Clean my apartment – my place is a mess! I seriously need to vacuum my apartment because I’ve been sneezing and breaking out lately. Mental note: borrow JV’s steam vacuum for a more thorough clean when it warms up more.
  • Go to the gym – I really need to put in some a workout. I’ve been pretty diligent lately and I think I am seeing some benefits already. Or, maybe I am imagining things. I also need to work on my jump technique to really ensure that my knees do not get the brunt of the impact. I think I am jumping wrong. I wish there’s an available volleyball clinic for adults that can help me out.
  • Meet JV and Dr. Ryan for lunch – Lunch at Sleepy Bee later on!
  • Catch up some work – I need to find time to focus and develop more the SOW and staffing plans for my project.
  • Blog on my February progress – It’s already March 8 and I need to write about how I progressed last month in terms of my goals.
  • Plan out my finances for the next few months – my mom gave me sad news last night. She needs to undergo some surgery for her uterus because she of myomas and a cyst. I guess it is part of aging and paying off the abuse and neglect when she was younger. It is something needed to be settled so I just need to see what trade offs happen.