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Ugh.

I played horrible last night. I was slow and my reflex is really off. I wonder if this is the new normal for me, or something I can train on with drills and exercises? My knee is still not there 100% so that is still problematic to be honest. Maybe one goal at a time.

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Some updates.

Fitness update – Yesterday, I weighed myself and I am at 145.6! I think I overdid it with dimsum and Cavu Caramel latte so I am at 146.6 this morning. I also suspect that my weekend weighing time throws it off. During weekdays, I weigh myself at 7am, but on weekends I do it much later than that. Anyway, this is still good news in my books and I can’t wait to do a body fat check in a few weeks to see if my body fat has gone down to <15%. A part of me is a bit hesitant that I’ll go down to really skinny level with not much muscle mass so I might start doing a slow clean bulk and fix my lifts.

Other things –

. Taxes – this is almost done. I almost filed mine last night but I realized that TaxAct was charging me $28 to file because I’m using the Premium version. Since I do not have any investments anymore, I should just be at the Plus version where I can file at $7.50. So, I am transferring my filing from Premium to Plus but I have to re-do it again. This happened after trying HR Block’s free version but since I have an HSA, I need to get bumped up to their Deluxe version. I don’t get why?! It’s a pretty straight forward and does not have any tax impact since all my withdrawals are medical related. Annoying. So, I’ll have to do that today.

. Volleyball – I have been playing again and my right knee is still sore. It’s not that bad with a compression sleeve but I am not stopping my PT exercises.

. Decision Making is terrible – I hate making decisions that I need to stick to. I want the flexibility to adjust or pivot if needed. But alas, buying a house requires a lot of commitment and hard decisions. My latest decision needed to be done is the bed. I already have a mattress for it but I just need a frame. Either I upgrade my bed and transfer my current one to the guest room, or I just get a cheapo one for the guest room. Decisions, decisions, decisions…

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Greek Yogurt

A few years back, I hated yogurt. It’s one of those products that you’ll never see me eat. It’s not that I’m allergic to it, but I was never a fan of tart or sour food, especially in creamy form. It tasted and smelled weird for me. I remember one time when I went out for an “eyeball” (how early 2000s!) in Manila, we went to a yogurt place. I swallowed my pride and went for it. I still did not like and that meet up was never repeated.

Fast forward to now and it’s considered a staple in my diet. I get eat Greek yogurt almost every day. It has very good protein content (20 grams in a serving), and it’s ridiculously good. My favorite right now is Trader Joe’s whole milk vanilla bean Greek yogurt. I can literally devour an entire tub of that goodness! Super good. I also eat the 0% plain ones and to make it more satisfying, I add a serving of fruit (strawberry, banana, pineapple and the like).

It’s so strange how my palate has changed. I can attribute that to motivation. If you want something, you’ll eventually bring down your walls and take risks. That’s what I have done. It all started during my Paleo journey a few years back where I explored healthier options. I took out sugar, and complex carbs and just relied on simple and fresh food items. Then now with the Lean Gains + IIFYM (if it fits your macros) approach, I try to explore high protein options! The good news is that it’s working. Weight is down to 147 (from 154) and my body fat is at 17.3% (from 23%)! It does not end and there’s room for further growth. I know I will need to push further. I need to find more options and see to what levels can I reach. It’s something I am excited about and probably one of the few things going on in my life.

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Sore

My body is so sore this morning. I am still not used to losing an hour of sleep due to daylight savings, and I subbed as libero in JV’s team last night. Oh man… I’m paying for it now.

I’ll post something more meaningful next time since my meeting will start soon. Nothing major, but something blog-worthy.

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Missing motivation

I have been feeling overwhelmed with a strong feeling of helplessness. I like being able to fix something and I feel good about it. I think that’s why I enjoy being in IT. I am able to fix problems. I like being able to remove barriers even if it’s a thankless job. So the opposite is also distressing. I really spiral out of control if I feel helpless or if I feel that I cannot do something to fix something. My brain tries to find paths to a viable solution but I just cannot connect. But at the same time, objectively speaking, I feel that is not the case. I have the resources at my disposable to do something. What’s missing is the energy that pushes me towards a solution. Inertia. All I do is waste around and get stuck in a rut. What I know is that it’s a mindset. It’s not a fact. I just do not have the drive to lift a finger and be that agent of change. I do not feel driven or motivated to do that. And that is the biggest thing missing right now — the ability to spark and keep one’s motivation. Other find it easy to jumpstart their inner fire and just get things done but I just do not have that right now. Il’ll find it. I know i will. I have to.

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frightening

reading about trump’s plan on immigration is frightening. he has already proposed a wall that is such a waste of money. increasing border control would be a better approach in handling this but this is trump – he needs to see something tangible to say it’s his even if it’s worthless. he has stopped the refugee settlement program which is very uncharitable. and the scariest part, is that he has blocked people from entering the US even if you are a green card holder, or a US visa holder. you cannot enter the US while the ban is on. Downright frightening.

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intermittent fasting fail

I am toying with the idea of going into a cutting phase to decrease my body fat. I already calculated that I need to consume around 1500-1600 calories everyday to be in a calorie deficit. Right now, I am reading about LeanGains which is a type of intermittent fasting. Basically you fast for 16 hours and just eat within an 8 hour window. I thought of doing one today and just eat at 12 skipping breakfast. Well, I arrived at work and it’s donut day. Donut won… so maybe another day. For now, it’s just an idea.