I’ve been finding it difficult to find inspiration to blog lately. It’s as if nothing is interesting enough to be blogged. It is always my problem anyway. I find it a struggle to put thoughts and experiences into words. Sometimes, I just lose the inspiration, or I cannot translate my ideas into words properly and I get frustrated about it. That’s me.
Some people blog for commercial purposes, or they feel to be part of a bigger community and they are now required to be able to blog properly for their readers. Well, that’s not me. My blogs have not been well written at all. I don’t even find my blog that interesting for others to follow, but my biggest critique is actually myself. It’s not actually for my readers. I’ve maintained a blog just for one thing — history.
Do you still remember your thoughts or ideas when you were very young? Or, when you were feeling down in one time of your life, how did you cope? It can be hazy, right (except if you are Kris Aquino)? The brain is not really the best keeper of memories because they get forgotten, or they get altered by how you are thinking now. BUT, if you put them into words during a specific moment somewhere and publish it, they will be etched the way it was written. Similar to the Rosetta Stone, or hieroglyphics — it’s a relic of the past that shows you that specific era of history. You can only just read through them and be amazed with the specific history of your life. Sometimes, I just open up my blog and read through my entries written in 2004 and be amazed how different I was. I also get pieces of advice from my old self with how I look at the world, or experience. Sometimes, it’s very difficult to see how much we’ve changed, but reading through old blog entries, you get an idea how you were. It can be good or bad to be honest. For example, I never thought I was that emotional before, or how I bother with very mundane things. Years after, my priorities would shift and you can see that my blog entries became less emotional diarrhea. I wonder if it was because I just grew up, or I am just being more guarded now because more are at stake. I miss the honesty of my blog entries then, but I also winced with the idea that I actually publicized them. But, it’s there. I refuse to erase these entries because they are the only objective reminder of my life that I’ve changed and I’ve lived.