The Friendly Voice

As a friend, do you support blindly to his/her decisions, or are you honest enough to say, “I don’t think that’s the best idea”? That’s my conundrum of sorts when I deal with friends. My fault (I guess) is that I care too much and I would not want my friend to be in a bad position. At the same time, I don’t want to be the Debbie Downer by pointing out the holes, issues and risks. I am too invested in the lives of other people where I should not be.

I remember years ago that one of my closest friend had a boyfriend I disliked. I thought that he was just not good for her at all. As they say, love is blind and I’ll probably have to add deaf, tasteless and senseless. It was not just me, but our group was a bit disappointed with the choice. I think one time I told her that I did not like <insert name> as her boyfriend, but ultimately, she’s the one who’s gonna kiss him and not me. I was not living that horrible life in my head, but as a friend, I had to be there when she finally realizes the gospel truth. And yes she did. She cried it out, and we were there comforting her and making her feel good about herself.

Don’t be too involved, but be there. It’s not your life. More often than not, you are not really affected by any failed or successful consequence. Your friend owns that and s/he should be accountable enough to face the consequences of his actions. But, you do not leave him as well. Be there and you probably just have to pick up the pieces and drink the pain away, or throw an awesome celebratory party. Finally, you are a valid voice because you are friends. You have that bond and it’s meaningful. I would expect my friend to be honest enough to tell me if I’m messing up and I should be able to dish the same. I’d want him to tell me that something is not right or help me understand his thinking it’s a bad idea. If s/he can’t be honest to me, who else, right? But, I also don’t expect him to take my advice as the absolute correct answer. I am just one of the voices in his life and ultimately, the most important one is the voice in his heart and mind.

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