For the past year or so, I’ve been trying to ready myself to the big possibility of living life alone. Not because it is my choice to live this way, but it just does not happen. It’s another topic if I am actually ready or not, but it’s good to actually try it out, right? Some people get it easy, but my life has made me realized that I am not one of them. Social sciences also indicate that this is a reality that other people live. This is not new. There are people who get married and live old together, some of them separate, and a lot of people do not couple up, either by choice or not. This is not a far fetch theory that needs a proof, but a possibility that people usually dismiss because it’s really depressing to think that you can live alone and not get that “happily ever after” with someone.
Lately, I’ve been feeling the downside of solitude. It can get boring just living alone and not being able to share life with another person. So, I think it’s time again to think through what I need to do to enjoy life as it is, and plan it accordingly so I don’t spiral out of control to depression.
I want to expand my circle of friends. Being an introvert, it’s pretty tough. I am not a big fan of small talk, and dealing with new people. In group discussions, I’m more of an active listener rather than a talker making me appear aloof and detached. Not good at all. What is interesting though is that I can be extroverted to some people, but not to others. I fall into this selective extroversion that I have with a certain crowd. If only I can just normalize how I deal with other people — especially with new crowds. I need to dissect why I get out of my shell, and what my behavior is. For sure, there’s an underlying rationale behind this and potentially reapplicable to other areas of my life. My gut feel says it’s all about confidence, but I am not sure.
I want to grow professionally. I’ve been toying with the idea of studying further to help enrich my skills, and also to expand the people I surround myself. I blogged before that I feel that I’ve degraded as the years go by and my prime was probably 5 years ago where I had the gusto and drive to excel. I really need to get that fire, and use that to light up further growth.
I want change. When things become too normalized, it is time to make a change. I don’t know specifically, but I really need to shake off my life and be forced by the change that would be sweeping me. It’s always a risk though because change can swing good or bad and you never know, but you have to roll with the punches, or reap the benefits of it.
My next-few-years goals shape how I can live life happily with or without someone. I want my own place, a dog, and a sustainable hobby (I say volleyball, but my knees are singing a different tune). It’s very simple, but requires a lot of work and working with personal constraints, assumptions and dependencies. I guess this is a preview for my 2015 goals, but I think it’s simple enough to work on, and challenging enough for me to have an interesting time dealing with this.