I have been feeling overwhelmed with a strong feeling of helplessness. I like being able to fix something and I feel good about it. I think that’s why I enjoy being in IT. I am able to fix problems. I like being able to remove barriers even if it’s a thankless job. So the opposite is also distressing. I really spiral out of control if I feel helpless or if I feel that I cannot do something to fix something. My brain tries to find paths to a viable solution but I just cannot connect. But at the same time, objectively speaking, I feel that is not the case. I have the resources at my disposable to do something. What’s missing is the energy that pushes me towards a solution. Inertia. All I do is waste around and get stuck in a rut. What I know is that it’s a mindset. It’s not a fact. I just do not have the drive to lift a finger and be that agent of change. I do not feel driven or motivated to do that. And that is the biggest thing missing right now — the ability to spark and keep one’s motivation. Other find it easy to jumpstart their inner fire and just get things done but I just do not have that right now. Il’ll find it. I know i will. I have to.